What to Consider Before Choosing Relationship Therapy

Hundreds of couples worldwide find themselves considering relationship therapy instead of divorce. This type of counseling is a change to repair a broken unity, hopefully resulting in a future together, rather than ripping the foundations of what they know and separating for good.

Many couples choose this to try and save a marriage for the sake of their children, but before you even consider relationship therapy; there are a few questions you need to ask yourself.

Firstly it's important to remember that this is not a quick fix solution, it takes time, dedication and it may not prove useful if the two of you can not come to a compromise. This is something you both want to do, an opportunity to mend, heal and work together to stay together for years to come.

One of the things you will have to take into consideration is whether you are ready to take responsibility for your side of the partnership. Are you ready to face what your partner has to say as to the partnership is breaking down? This can be hard to hear, especially if you have not heard it before and you need to be ready for just about anything when you walk through that door to relationship therapy.

Another consideration is whether you are both prepared to put in the commitment and time needed when it comes to this form of counseling. As mentioned before, it's not a quick fix and you will need to attend sessions on a regular basis over a period of time. Some couples can attend relationship therapy for weeks, others years. You need to decide if you are ready for this and it is something you can make time for.

Are you ready to compromise? Understanding and compromising are important elements to any relationship. Being able to compromise on certain elements may help your partnership move forward. You need to be ready for whatever comes at you in counseling, compromise may well be one of them.

If you are very set in your ways and find it difficult to try new things, then relationship therapy may not be for you. When it comes to this form of counseling, you have to be open and willing to try new things when it comes to openness and your partnership. Things have to change in order to evolve, this is essential to your partnership moving forward for years to come.

It's essential that you choose a therapist you are both comfortable with. These sessions rely on you being open and honest and if you're uncomfortable, you may find you are unable to open up and work on your problems.

Most counsels offer an assessment appointment. This is your opportunity to get a feel for them, how they work and the techniques that they use. Be sure to ask questions during this stage. Some councilors will challenge you as a couple, while others may be understanding and let you come to terms with what is happening in your partnership.

Before you go to relationship therapy, decide what you want out of the sessions. Are you looking for a change in the partnership to help you get to the next level and stay together, are you looking to fix broken wings which have built up over the years or are you looking for a way to communicate how you both feel so you can get on with your partnership in an open and committed way?

It's essential you both have some indication on what you want to achieve. Most couples want to know if there is anything left to fix or whether it's time to part ways. Remember a counselor will not tell you what to do, but they will help you come to your own decision.

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Living With a Child With ADHD – How Do You Cope?

ADHD is a very real problem which often presents itself in children. This problem, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, affects children in many ways.

In most cases the children will not have the ability to concentrate on any one task for a long period of time, they will not be able to think ahead, remain organized or complete tasks. These children are often impulsive and always on the go, which can be a noticeable strain for parents.

Many parents do not realize there is a problem, often putting their child's overly active nature down to their personality. But over time, this can become a heavy burden to bear and after visiting a medical professional, they are told that their child has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

The good news is once you know the problem, at least you have an idea of ​​what is going on, but dealing with the problem on a daily basis can be frustrating, exhausting and can leave parents frazzled, to say the least.

Many parents choose to take their children to ADHD counseling and get some counseling themselves. This can assist is learning how to manage with a child suffering from this problem and how to manage your own daily life around a child that is so impulsive, you have to watch their every move.

There are some things you need to ensure you do on a daily basis, this is more to relieve your own stress and manage your own life when trying to manage a child with this problem.

Going to ADHD counseling can be an awful relief, for so many parents. You can open up completely about the frustrations you are feeling and learn different techniques on how to meet on a daily basis. No one wants to speak badly about their own child, but sometimes the burden can get too much and ADHD counseling can help, both you and your child.

The first and most important step is to remain positive at all times. Do not get negative about the problems being presented to you. This may sound hard to accomplish, but a positive attitude and dealing with each problem in a positive way can make a huge difference.

Know there are medicines which can calm the child and assist them with their concentration, but you positively reinforcing your child all the time and putting structures in place, can have a positive impact on both of you.

It's so important that you take care of yourself. Many parents are so busy running around behind their child and trying to manage their behavior, they forget about their own health. Take time out, go to the spa for a day, have your hair or nails done and ensure you eat a healthy and well balanced diet. If you are not looking after yourself, you will be no good to your child later on.

Keep in mind that through ADHD counseling, this problem can be managed. It is more common than you think, you are not alone in this.

Structure is essential in the daily routine for a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. You will learn this in your ADHD counseling. Have a set structure as you did when your child was a baby with set eating times, play times, bath times and homework times. Children with this problem work well with a fixed structure in place.

Set rules and regulations within the home and make sure your child is aware of them. Even when going through ADHD counseling, you need to carry some of what you learn into the home, the counseling is not enough, this needs to be monitored and managed through the day, every day.

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Women and Her 40’s

Women are a wonderful creation of God and play a precious role in our lives. After her birth, she has to play different roles at different phases of life. Whether she is a daughter, a wife or a mother, she always tries to give her best everywhere. She may even sacrifice her health to take care of her family. Then she turns 40 and starts facing certain health issues.

Women over 40 may face changes like:

Lack of activity: It is recommended that women above 40 should engage themselves in the proper schedule of physical exercises for at least 30 minutes a day. This will keep them active during their daily activities. Generally, women do not follow this schedule, because of which they feel less active during this stage of their lives.

Lack of strength: As soon as we cross 40 our bones tend to get weak and women start to feel a lack of strength in their body.

Sleepless nights: Sleeping for lesser hours are a very common problem found among women over 40's. This happens mostly due to the hormonal changes that occur inside their body at this age, which is scientifically known as menopause.

Less immunity: It is also found that there is lack of immunity in women above 40, which has drastically led to increase in the number of women who suffer from breast cancer and other deadly diseases these days.

Uncontrolled body weight: With age, most of the women get less focused towards their diet, which moreover leads to increase in body weight with time.

Six essentials every woman over 40 shall follow:

Regular intake of fish: It is recommended that every woman shall have at least two servings of fish per week. Fish contains healthy fats like salmon and trout. If eating fish is a problem, it can also be replaced with fish oil.

Eat food rich in calcium: Once we cross 40, our calcium intake will be more. To complete that requirement we can choose low-calorie products which have roughly the same amount of calcium as their full-fat counterparts.

Eat soy: Soy contains plant estrogens, so many women think that eating soya can lead to breast cancer. This misconception comes from studies related to high dose soy intake. Otherwise soy food like tofu, soy nuts and soy milk may give relief from hot flashes during menopause.

Less intake of alcohol: We all know that access to everything has been always bad especially when we are talking about alcohol. After a certain age, it is very much necessary that we keep a check on our alcohol intake. It has been found that women who consume an excess of alcohol are more likely to suffer from stress or breast cancer. So, it is recommended for women over 40 to control their drinking habits with time to avoid such health issues.

Choose cool and decaffeinated drinks: Women must replace warm drinks with cool and decaffeinated drinks. It becomes very helpful for menopausal women as it also provides relief from hot flashes. Drinking less alcohol can also help in decreasing a risk for breast cancer in women.

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How Hormone Swings Can Lead to Mood Swings

People often wonder whether mood swings stem from too much of a hormone (excess) or too little (deficiency). In fact, while each of these situations can produce moodiness, most often it is big fluctuations in hormone levels that leads to pronounced swings in mood. How do these highs and lows in hormones come about, and how can you help prevent this mind-body roller-coaster?

Our moods and hormones are affected by the stress and emotions we feel on a regular basis. While the solution of “… so get rid of any anxiety, depression, or anger” may spring to mind, that is the opposite of what we want to do when trying to relate mood imbalances. The largest contributor of hormone imbalance, other than the natural decline of hormones with age, is suppression of stress and emotions. We do not always let ourselves feel what we're going through, and when the body has to resist processing emotions or stress like it naturally wants to do, the effects these feelings have on health can become chronic.

For example, say you have a bad day including work traffic, some social conflicts with friends, horrible treatment from your boss, and when you get home you can not relax or sleep at night. You have no appetite either, yet you tell yourself to be strong and muscle through this and the next day. Cortisol levels are rising to deal with your stress, but as you turn off your mental response to the daily pressures, your body shuts off too and obeys your mind in dulling its nervous system response to what is happening in your world. Cortisol and hormone levels then go through manic and depressive highs and lows, because the body and mind are not allowed to naturally process the emotions that are coming up for you.

What happens next? Mood swings. If the emotions were deal with as they came up, they would not build up so much in the body, and the release needed would not be so big. With suppression of emotions, however, the body reacts more like a volcano in that when the feelings do finally surface – they erupt! The body does not enjoy extremes in health, and it functions better when you work with the homeostasis (or equilibrium) it attempts to maintain. It may seem counterintuitive, but suppression of emotions does not keep things calm, cool, or collected like we may may imagine in the moment.

Which hormones are affected by the highs and lows in stress and cortisol levels? For women, they tend to include estrogen and progesterone most often, and for men testosterone is most affected. In addition, the thyroid gland and pancreatic hormones also respond, which can lead to some thyroid and blood sugar imbalances. What do all these changes tend to create in the body? Even more mood disruptions. This can become a vicious cycle.

With the close relationship mood has to hormones in the body, the best healthy living practice you can have is to simply ask yourself once in a while, “How am I feeling?” Recognize that your mind has the unhelpful ability to order yourself not to feel, and that this habit is not healthy even though it can feel like it's simplifying life in the moment. This is a challenge for everyone. The more you let your natural emotions exist and recognize that they're normal, the more balanced your hormones and moods will feel.

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How To Be Mindful

The majority of us do not practice being mindful yet it is the secret of many successful and famous people. As we mature from children (a time when mindfulness is our natural state) to adulthood we are programmed by family, school and peers. Our subconscious mind is not our own. In adulthood we are fed a constant feed of fear and negativity through our ever present news media making us stressful and anxious that stems from the subconscious.

When you become mindful you realize that these external stressors do not matter. It is just white noise that you need to retrain yourself to hear on a conscious level and immediately let go before it sets in your subconscious.

To be mindful is to be at peace. This can be achieved simply and with practice over time. Outlined here are some steps to assist you.

Step away from the activities that can be associated with worry either past or future. These reminders do not serve you well but manifest to debilitate and destroy. They manifest into imaginations that may not ever happen.

Meditate. Meditation has become one of the most amazing and simple ways to become mindful. You can take 5 minutes or an hour. You choose the amount of time you want to meditate. Start with 5 minutes and build up.

Using mind tools you can really speed things up. Meditation creates a peaceful mindful state that can last long periods of time. The more you meditate the longer the periods of mindfulness last as your re-train your subconscious mind. Meditation has been scientifically proven to assist people who suffer from depression. It is safe and non invasive.

If you feel anxious you can relate this fast and become mindful in a snap. It does take a little practice but it is worth the results. Just close your eyes and take in a slow deep breath and then let it out. The increased incidence of oxygen has been proven to relax and refocus the mind. Do this as much as you can. You do not really need to close your eyes but I find it really speeds things up. However, if you are in a situation where closing your eyes is not safe or possible just take the slow deep breaths and feel the euphoria. You should find it difficult to recreate the anxiety you had a few minutes ago.

If this article has raised concerns about you or a loved ones anxiety levels or depression please contact your health service in your state or country.

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Adhd Behavior Charts

ADHD was initially known as ADD which is called as attention deficit disorder but, in 1994 it was renamed as ADHD which is now called as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. This is a behavioral disorder occurring mostly in youngger boys. It is mostly diagnosed in boys as compared to girls and there is no specific reason found yet. The symptoms are the pattern of behavior as in they are very inattentive type. They are unable to pay to attention and make careless errors in the schoolwork or other activities. They have a listening problem which makes them unorganized and it gets difficult for them to follow the instruction as they do want to do any mental effort. They tend to lose their things frequently like toys, notebooks etc. They get distracted and are forgetful by nature. They are also very hyperactive type as they can not be listed at one place for long. They talk a lot and are very fidgety by nature. Therefore, they need medication and behavioral therapy to control their behavior.

ADHD behavior charts might not cure the disorder completely but, to some extent it can modify the child's behavior and even improve their performance in various areas. The ADHD behavior charts are designed in such a manner that it limits or even removes the unwanted behavioral disorder completely. If a child can read properly then he is expected to answer more appropriately so, the visual expectation is expected to change the behaviors. The ADHD behavior charts are necessary as it tracks out the child's progress from negative behavior to the positive ones. If a child focuses on the expectation definitely there is the hope in the change of their behavior. ADHD behavior charts must contain specific tasks, ultimate goals and expectations. There can be different ADHD charts for different kind of behavior. If a child is supposed to focus on home assignments then, that chart must be divided subject wise and must not contain any other behavior or goal.

The ADHD behavior charts must not contain too many of the expectations as the child starts focusing on many goals at one time and this can be a harm rather than good. The ADHD behavior charts must be kept simple so that it is easy for the child to understand. The list contains the expected and unexpected behavior but the chart must not be over detailed, it must be of less word, big and organized. A child must be rewarded for the change in his positive behavior; it can be in the form of stars, handout or anything. The list of the negative behaviors must also be prepared.

The behavior chart must be explained to the child and it must be positive. The main keyword is the consistency. The list must be followed accordingly to achieve the goal and expectation and must be rewarded for the positive behavior. Initially the child may not respond to the ADHD behavior charts as he might not take it seriously. But, once the parents take it seriously regarding the expectations he will start responding accordingly to the charts.

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How to Prevent Panic Attacks At Work or Out Socially

The anticipation of what might go wrong is so familiar. You expect how bad you will feel, how “everyone” will know something is wrong and you can not face the shame or embarrassment of people seeing you like this. The dry mouth, the palpitations, feeling fuzzy. You tell yourself to stop blushing, to stop shaking but it only seems to get worse. You can hear your heart pounding inside your chest, it must look like a cartoon, thumping in and out. Where is the escape, where can you go?

Unfortunately, many people suffer without anyone noticing. They can maintain a calm exterior but on the inside they are quivering. The thoughts drive the feelings and the feelings drive the thoughts.

What is happening is that your mind has interpreted this event, minor or major, as life threatening. When this happens, the fight or flight alarm is activated. This is a self-preservation tool.

Unnecessary actions such as digestion are slowed as the blood supply needs to go to where action is required ie the arms (to fight) and legs (to run away).

Saliva disappears as this is part of the digestive process. Some people experience the need to urinate or evacuate the bowels (all part of releasing unnecessary cargo). Blood drains from the brain so the brain is now in a primal state, not enough oxygen and blood to function logically.

It is about survival, looking for the escape, with no time to weigh up pros and cons. It is a primal response.

How can you interrupt this cycle? By understanding that where your mind perceives a life or death threat, the actuality is that you are afraid of being judged in someway or have to “perform” ie focus will be on you and you are afraid of the “judgment”. This is a throw back to being at school and speaking in front of the class and sometimes making a mistake, others laughed and your mind interpreted this as something never to be done again. Each time you had to repeat the scenario, feelings and thoughts went into overdrive, your mind doing its best to free you by wanting you to avoid it. But this is not how to live your life. So therefore, you have to begin reframing the event before you get to it:


1. Think about how you will feel at the end of night when you have succeeded oroped well (whatever the situation). What would mean to you – to have this sense of achievement that something you thought would be difficult was actually okay.
2. How do you need to be different for this to work? See your successful self and rewind to earlier in the evening and notice how different you were to the usual fearful self. What is different? Hints: notice body language, facial expression, hear your voice – everything is more at ease.
3. Rewind further to the start of the event, hear your own talk – words need to be “I'm okay”, “I feel calm” or even shorter “calm”, “relaxed”. Not what you do not want but what you want to be and feel.
4. Starting from this point, how to make yourself even more relaxed – play some music that eases your mind and body. Tell yourself that are surrounded by people who care about you and something something panicky happened, anyone who would be amused by this speaks volumes for their personality type as the majority of people would want to help and ease your discomfort. Remember those mind, do not matter, and those that matter, do not mind.

These thoughts take great pressure off you and once the fear is being dampened, you are beginning to take control.

Tips for during an event:

1. Keep words like “calm” and “relaxed” at the front of your mind. These words need no thinking about as the mind instinctively knows what they mean.
2. Keep sipping water. This keeps the mouth moist and mimics saliva.
3. Roll your shoulders to relax this (this can be done in the restroom) as this eases tension in the body and produces a physiological response of relaxing the muscles.
4. Keep your favorite song playing inside your head as when you focus on it, it will whisk you away to a more relaxed time.
5. Do not forget to breathe.
6. When in conversation, instead of thinking of something incredibly intelligent to say, listen to others, observe something about them, earrings, tie and this helps to focus your mind outwardly rather than inadwardly.

The post-mortem:

1. Focus on what was good about the night. We are ingrained to focus on the negative but this needs to change.
2. Think about what could be better next time and how you would make that happen.
3. Thank your mind for helping you. All it ever wants to do is to help you but sometimes its interpretation is not correct. You have to tell your mind what you want, not what you do not want.

Every night as you settle down to sleep, think about three positive things that happened during the day. Think about how you want to be tomorrow and you will begin to notice that each day you are feeling a little bit better within yourself.

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Suffering From Anxiety? What You Need to Know

Millions of people suffer from anxiety around the world. In fact anxiety disorders are increasing on a daily basis as we juggle home and work life, putting additional stress on ourselves to do better.

The fact is that the modern world has lead to a busy lifestyle brimming with anxiety and the more you try and do, the more exotic you are likely to become. There are no set guidelines to what causes anxiety, some people are more prone to this disorder than others and without the assistance of an anxiety psychotherapist, the problem can get completely out of control.

There are various forms of this disorder that you need to be aware of, it affects anyone at any age. The most common include panic, social, phobias and generalized anxiety, all of which can lead to a host of unwelcome symptoms and side effects.

Some of the side effects you can notice if you or someone you love is suffering from anxiety include panic and fear, problems sleeping, sweaty or cold hands, trouble breathing and muscle tension. With a combination of factors responsible for this disorder, the best course of action is to seek medical assistance, talk about your problems and find the root cause to reduce the risk of having several health issues at a later stage.

Treatments including anxiety psychotherapist, medication, relaxation techniques and cognitive behavior therapy. Generalised anxiety (GAD) is very common in today's society with more people visiting their doctor than ever before. Loss of appetite, problems sleeping, relationship issues, knotted stomach, digestive problems and even concentration issues are all symptoms of this disorder.

To reduce the risk of anxiety disorders you should limit your caffeine, enjoy moderate exercise each week and if you feel you may be suffering, get medical assistance. Seeking medical assistance for anxiety is not something you should be embarrassed about. In fact thousands of patients seek the assistance of anxiety psychotherapists to help them manage their disorder and take control of their lives.

This disorder can be work or home related, it can also be a mixture of the two. These days our lifestyles are chaotic, we run from working a full day to caring for the home and family, we have limited sleep and our jobs are more stressful than ever before. Anxiety can be a result of taking on too much, a stressful home life and even the stress of finances. The problem is that ignoring the symptoms can lead to more serious problems in the future including heart diseases.

Over time without the assistance of an anxiety psychotherapist, you can become depressed, possibly even suicidal. Depression comes with it's own host of issues including drawing away from loved ones, staying at home rather than going out with friends and becoming a bit of a loner. Being lonely and not speaking about your problems, cause them to bottle up and eventually could lead to suicidal thoughts or worse, actions.

To try and reduce the anxiety in your life, you should try and exercise at least three times a week. Exercise can be moderate, such as walking around the block or swimming. Get a friend to join you so you have motivation to do exercise on a regular basis.

Eating a healthy and well-balanced diet is essential to your health and can help you manage your energy levels effectively. If you feel that your stress is taking over your life and you're struggling to maintain a healthy and balanced lifestyle, then it's time to seek medical attention and take back control.

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Understanding The Basics Of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Have you noticed that you check things three or four times before walking out the front door? Does this leave you running late for work every day and getting into trouble with management? Do you know you could possibly be suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)?

Thousands of people suffer with OCD every single day, it affects millions of people around the world. While it does appear to affect more women than men, you find that men, women and children are affected by this disorder, which is treatable.

Obsessive compulsive disorder therapists concentrate on two aspects of this disorder. The first is the obsessive, which is when a person experiences unwelcome urges and thoughts. These thoughts can be harming someone or themselves.

The second thing that they concentrate on is the compulsive side of the disorder. This is when a person experiences repetitive actions. These actions can be anything from checking each light switch before leaving the house, checking the cooker is turned off over and over again and even going back to check they have locked the front door three or four times.

As you can imagine a person suffering from OCD can find that their lives turn upside down. They are constantly late and their jobs are in jeopardy. Their tardiness is not seen as a mental disorder by management and owners of companies, but rather as a problem that causes them to lose money on a daily basis.

OCD follows a vicious cycle which usually starts with obsessive behavior, this in turn causes anxiety. The anxiety causes the person to be compulsive and ends with some relief before the cycle starts all over again.

The rituals that patient have to manage their OCD is what disposes their daily lives. It takes up so much time each day and their daily life can be completely ruined, this can result in them losing their jobs, having relationships fall apart and even pull away from family and friends.

There are signs to look out for before seeking help from an obsessive compulsive disorder therapist. The first is having unwanted thoughts, these can be to cause harm and aggression towards others, it may be sexual thoughts. This is followed by fears. The fear of leaving the cooker on and causing a fire which may harm other people or the urge to push the person in front of you at the intersection into the busy road.

Other signs include checking things three or more times. Many OCD patients focus on a number and then everything they do is associated with this number, whether it's buying groceries or checking they've turned off the cooker at home. Others have OCD when it comes to cleanliness and these results in them washing their hands so many times a day that is can cause complete disruption.

Over time obsessive compulsive disorder can lead to depression and loneliness. The person becomes unhappy and feels very alone. They feel guilty about how they act, the thoughts that they have and they work hard on their repetition to reduce the risk of this happening.

The good news is that there are treatments available and with the right obsessive compulsive disorder therapist you can work through your problems. The most common treatment is cognitive behavior therapy, sometimes combined with medication.

Learning that you have OCD and the best ways to manage the disorder can help you live a completely normal life. Speaking about your thoughts and anxieties can play a huge role in managing your actions, reducing the urge to be repetitive and learning how to control your urges and thoughts moving forward.

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Why It Is Not Cool to Be Lonely

Do you know why it is not cool to be lonely?

Because that is to fall into the stereotype people have of an elderly – frail, dependent on others, sickly, and cranky.

To be cool is not to fit into the mold society has made for us. It is to use a tablet, not for your arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure, or heart problems but to get in touch with your online friends or play online games.

Of course society is not entirely to blame for its condescending attitude towards elders people. We are partly to blame, too!

We are so fond of going back memory lane, to be sentimental and nostalgic of the past. Like a broken record, we often reminisce of the times when we played with our children when they were toddlers, of our first date, our first job, when we got married, and many other things that would just lead us down to depression avenue.

The past is past, and to dwell over them is to stay standstill, to remain static when, at this time of our lives, we should be doing things we always wanted but never had the time, go places we dreamed of but remained a dream until now, or meet people, our soul mate maybe, now that we are free to do so.

If we are not overly sentimental, we are so cranky that our children may sometimes admonish our grandchildren not to make so much noise or else that “grumpy old man next room,” will summon the gremlins and witches and whisk them to a far, far , away land, never to be found again.

One Sunday afternoon I was alone at home, as I always am, watching the HBO channel.

I was becoming listless when feelings of loneliness started creeping in. Suddenly, I got a call from my daughter asking me how I was doing. I told her that I was OK.

Then the dam broke. I began to cry and told her that I was feeling miserably lonely and that I do not think I can take it anymore.

Embarrassing it may seem, that episode taught me a very valuable lesson – never to watch emotionally-charged movies while I am alone at home. It is a warning, almost like “do not play with matches,” that has been etched into my frail consciousness.

If you must watch TV alone at home, I suggest you use your remote control to find comedies, or cartoons, or “How To,” programs. Keep away from programs that make your heart beat a little faster, your adrenal glands work a little harder.

Better still do not watch TV at all when you are alone. Go out, take a walk around your lawn, pull out some weeds from your garden, go to the basement and see if there are things you can do to keep boredom away; or down a few beers with a neighbor. Do anything that veers your thoughts away from you to someone or something else.

Loneliness Is Bad Company

Loneliness is an unwanted emotion caused by an anxious feeling of not being connected with others or missing communality with a group.

Particularly unacceptable are olderlies who are widowed or divorced, those with medical problems, physically disabled, and those who failed to achieve their life's goals.

As an emotion, it is subjective. You can feel lonely in a group or even even when alone (one survey shows that people who live alone do not have bouts of loneliness or never feel lonely at all).

And it is bad company because if it becomes chronic, it can easily cause stress which can lead to depression and melancholia. It can increase your risk for heart diseases and Alzheimer's. Before all these will come upon you, you will keep to yourself, keep away from the world, sap your energy and enthusiasm to live.

I would be saying to say that I do not have bouts of loneliness. I do, more often than I care to admit. It even drops in on me even if I am in a crowded coffee shop. But I Just have to shove it besides because having an anxiety attack, which usually follows closely behind, is one scary feeling.

So far I have been successful at it. I have a support group in my tennis buddies and I keep busy writing. When things get out of hand, I talk with my daughter.

She is always there when I need her.

Like that HBO episode I mentioned above. When, between sobs, I told her that I was feeling very lonely, she immediately said the magic words, “OK, let's go out and have dinner.”

An elderly life is fickle and uncertain. Each day is a blessing not to be squandered on worry or feeling lonely, or being idle. Each day is a chance to make a difference, if not in others' lives, in our.

Each day must be lived so that, we should not see another sunrise, people would say, “He looks so happy!”

And that is cool, is not it?

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Disadvantages of Watching Pornography

In the olden days, the word 'addiction' was heavily bound to either dependence on substance (addiction to drugs) or behavioral addiction (gambling). Addiction can be defined as the repetition of a habit which an individual does with his / her complete knowledge. In other words, they clearly know and understand that they have to leave the particular habit of either ingesting a substance or performing a specific action, but can not refuse from doing the same. The habit may prove harmful in the long run as it might lead to compulsive use.

Pornography can be found in various formats such as books, postcards, photographs, drawing, animation, film, video (video games). Before two decades, if an individual has to watch porn, he has to rent out a video. Although growth of internet has brought many advantages, there are also a few exceptions like porn, which any one can access by a single click.

As with all addictions, individuals of all ages share this vice of pornography, they usually start with soft porn. Similar to drugs, they will also need larger doses to make them feel high. They will start searching for more explicit porn content. Although no survey has been done to clarify the factor from small to high dosage, it can not be rolled out that watching porn leads to negative effects in many cases such as:

Addicts feel isolate, spend large amount of time locked in their rooms or own world. Watching pornography individually separates them from social contact dissolving into a fantasy world far from reality. Pornographic addicted individuals may indulge in imagination with multiple partners by watching porn thus causing disillusionment in family lives.

Men, who are addicted, try to become dominant, introvert, deal with anxiety, and develop low self esteem. Porn makes the real universe and world boring leaving its viewers dissatisfied and less sensitive to the emotional feelings of everyday life. According to a survey, men exposed to large volume of pornography tend to be less responsible in their career and suffer from reasonability ability.

Men who view pornography in a very young age have been found to view women only as objects of desire than to have respect for them as human beings. They can also suffer from guilt, shame, failure of rejection or humiliation.

The best way to overcome the addiction is to become socially active. Isolation and loneliness are said to be the main contributing factors. Addicts who have been given proper professional guidance and assistance have overcome and acquired their habit of watching porn.

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Bipolar Disorder – Your Mood and Relationships

Bipolar disorder is characterized by unusual mood swings ranging from extreme elation (happiness) or mania, to bouts of depression. Relationships with such persons can be a strain with confusion and frustration for them and their loved ones. If you are a bipolar person, you might downplay the effect your temperament and mood has on your family, colleges and friends, but the truth is those two elements at each point will determine how you react to everyone around you.

An irritable mood is a key symptom of the disorder, and the negative feeling you send out could come back to you because people around you who are not aware of your condition as well as those who are may send the wrong signals in their attitude towards you .

Your total attitude in terms of your words, tone of voice, and body language can be misunderstand and attract negative response. Silence is golden only when appropriate as silence and a lack of communication can be just as hurtful as words. A lack of communication and a feeling of aloofness is not the mood you need to be in as others would like you to care.

As a bipolar person, if you are married, your relationship with your spouse can become quite strained during your changing moods. You may wonder if your marriage will survive. Statistics show that bipolar marriages have a 40 percent failure rate. Only ten percent of bipolar marriages survive. That statistic should not be the nail in the coffin of your marriage. You must fight to make your marriage work. Here are 3 tips to save your marriage:

1. Involve your spouse in counseling. The two of you should seek this together and help yourself sort out the issues you are experiencing. You will learn from a trained therapist about how to relate with your partner. The therapist should be knowledgeable about bipolar disorder and its effect on marriage.

2. A time out is a necessity for a bipolar relationship. This is because of the daily strain for both parties. A vacation together will provide a break away from the ups and downs and rejuvenate your relationship. A spouse should also understand that the bipolar person needs time on his or her own too, however, this should not be for too long for obvious reasons. You could also go with a close family member or friend for support.

3. The key in any marriage is understanding. You need to tolerate and forgive each other. Forgive regardless of if your spouse requests for it or not. The bipolar husband or wife will remember he or she has your unconditional love and that will encourage him or her to focus on the treatment.

A positive frame of mind will lift the spirits of anyone around you. Show love, care, a smile, and an acknowledgment when needed. This applies to people other than your spouse too. Be thankful and be considerate of other people's feelings and in return people will see you as a person and treat you kindly. If you want to be remembered as a happy and likeable person since your condition, then be aware of the depressed and moody attitude around you. People are bound to absorb and reflect your moods therefore try to radiate positive energy which will help you cope with everyday life and build healthy relationships.

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How to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts Fast

There's no doubt that negative thoughts can harm your health. They can lead to anxiety and depression and many other problems, and they can even shorten your life. So they're obviously something you want to get rid of as quickly as possible. Furthermore, studies have shown that up to three-quarters of people's thoughts are negative.

One of the main problems with them is how they form in the brain. We know that we learn by going over material again and again. In doing this we are setting up neural patterns in our brain. What this does is build up and reinvent the patterns so they stay in our brain better. This is great for learning something new, but unfortunately it applies to all of our thinking. In particular, it applies to negative thoughts. As they pass thought our mind again and again they are reinforced until it becomes difficult to forget them. As a result they begin “eating” at us, causing anxiety, depression and other problems. Because of this, when a negative thought forms, it is in our best interest to get rid of it as quickly as possible. But you have to do this in the right way. It's well-known that if you want to break a bad habit it's not a good idea to spend a lot of time thinking about it. Indeed, the best strategy is to somehow avoid thinking about it as much as possible.

So, with this in mind, what is the best way to go about getting rid of negative thoughts? The best strategy is to replace them immediately with positive thoughts. And there are, indeed, several types of positive thought that you can use. Four of the best are:

  • Things you enjoy doing. In my case, I enjoy music – in particular, I love to play the piano and always feel good when I'm playing it, and even when I think about it. I also enjoy writing, and unlike most people I enjoy working out, or exercising, and I enjoy thinking about them.
  • Friends and people you like, including your family, always lead to positive thoughts. Think about the good times you have had with them.
  • Your goals, or things you are looking forward to. Everybody has something they are looking forward to – or at least they should have. Think about them.
  • Also, when you have just undergone some type of failure, it's a good idea to think of your accomplishments.

A good way to remember these is to use the mnemonic EFGG, where the letter E stands for “enjoy”, F stands for friends and fun, G stands for goals, and it can also stand for “gratitude.” Gratitude is, in fact, one of the most important things you should have if you want to avoid negative thoughts. Sit down and make a list of all the things you are grateful for. It may surprise you. You should be grateful for your health (assuming you have it), your family, all your possessions, your talents and abilities, and your life in general.

In many ways the most important of the above is your health. You may not be in perfect health, but it certainly could be a lot worse. If you're older you will certainly have to look around at some of your friends and acquaintances. How many of them are in worse shape than you? I'm willing to bet that a large number are.

Let's turn now to other things that can help you avoid negative thoughts. One of the best is mindfulness. If you're not familiar with it, it's similar to meditation, but different in several respects. You begin by forgetting about the past and the future and concentrating on the present. You do this by focussing on your breath. Feel it moving in and out of your nose – think about it and nothing else.

Several other things are also helpful. I'll list them and discuss each of them briefly.

  • Sing. Singing almost always makes you feel good. You do not have to be a great singer, but put your heart into it and you'll be amazed at what it can do.
  • Writing in a journal or diary. What should you write? It does not matter; just let go and write anything that comes into your mind. In particular, let your feelings show.
  • Exercise. The simplest exercise is just walking. But weights, stretching and so on are also good.
  • Smile. Put a big smile on your face. You'll be surprised how it lifts your spirits.
  • Keep busy socially. Go out as much as possible and mix with other people. Also take brief holidays.
  • Imagery and visualization. Try to think back and imagine some of the best times of your life. Visualize yourself lying on a beach or hiking a scenic trail.
  • Affirmations. They are phrases such as “I am happy,” I am successful. “Repeat them to yourself.

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20 Easy Ways to Boost Your Memory – Mind Tricks to Help Seniors Remember

If you or one of your loved ones are getting older, you are probably interested in ways to boost your memory or their secrets.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, memory loss is usually one of the first signals of other cognitive disadvantage or decline.

Our memory is very important to us. We need our memory to recollect essential parts from our past, whether they occurred a couple of seconds earlier, or years ago. Typically, our memory will certainly diminish, leaving us struggling to remember information.

It comes without argument that memory plays a key role in our lives. If our memory becomes slightly impaired, we suffer immediate consequences. In this article, we will discuss seniors not remembering specific tasks, events, and every day situations. If seniors put this advice to good use, it can improve their memory.

20 Easy Ways to Boost Your Memory

Here are 20 ways to boost your memory if you are a senior. If you are a caregiver, you should try to condition your loved ones to practice these memory boosting tips.

1. Calendars – Get a decent sized calendar and instruct seniors to look at it through the day and check off tasks that were written. If they are unable to do that, you will need to write everything and help them remember what they need to do.

If you place the calendar next to their bed or other area where they spend a significant amount of time, it forces them to see it every day, and remember what they need to do.

2. Wine – Did you know that drinking wine in moderation is another way to boost your memory? One of the principal ingredients in wine is resveratrol. Resveratrol is responsible for strengthening the brain, which may offset degenerative conditions in the brain.

3. Eat Well – Eating the right foods can keep your brain healthy and boost your memory. Contact a nutritionist or ask your doctor what foods are best to help seniors increase their memory.

4. Teach – Seniors who teach others help to boost their memories. After living a long life, most seniors are an expert at something. Take the time to let seniors pass on their knowledge to future generation senior citizens to keep their minds active.

5. Socialize – When seniors stay socially active, they are less likely to feel stressed or depressed. This is more the case when they are with family members. Always visit your senior loved ones, and make them feel a part of your life.

6. Repeat Information – Some seniors react to repeating the information that needs to be completed. For example, if they need to go to a doctor's appointment at a particular time of the day, they can repeat that information to themselves out loud or silently to help them remember.

7. Exercise – Exercise is a way to increase blood flow in our bodies. The brain generates an average of 15% of our body's blood flow. Exercise keeps the blood flowing. So, help your elderly loved ones to get out and walk or do other physical exercises that benefit their entire body, including their brain.

8. Video Games – Video games are not just for kids. The repetitive movements help reason and memory in the elderly. Find some games that are easy enough for them to use, and watch how it transforms their minds and puts smiles on their faces.

9. Yoga and Meditation – These are two disciples that relieve stress and help to relax. Therefore, they are also ways to boost someone's memory. Senior citizens can benefit from these, and yoga also helps strengthen their bodies, too.

10. Confidence – Some seniors start to lose their confidence as they get older. Their bodies do not feel as fine-tuned as they once were, so they begin to have self-doubts. Keep their confidence level high by helping them remember things.

11. Organize – If seniors do not have a lot of clutter to go through to find things, it makes it easier to remember where something is at. If seniors place their house keys on a hook near the door each day, they will always remember where they are.

12. Favorite Senses – People process information in different ways. Therefore, there are different ways we prefer to use our senses to help us learn. Some people are visual learners and need to see information in front of them. Others depend on their hearing methods to process data through what they listened to. Find out how your loved one processes information the best, and help increase their memory.

13. Remember Names – When seniors make an effort to remember the names of people they meet, they can develop a system that helps them associate something with each name. For instance, if a woman's name is Mary, seniors could associate her name with the holy Mother Mary.

14. Ginkgo – We have already discussed how exercise increases blood flow to the brain, which helps the brain. Ginkgo biloba is a natural supplement that increases blood flow, too. It is known to help with dementia sufferer, and it could be an alternative way to helping seniors boost their memory.

15. Less Alcohol – When you consume less alcohol, you are literally saving the amount of brain cells that you have. Too much alcohol can lead to temporary or permanent loss of memory.

16. Voice Messages – Create voice messages that your loved one can play back on their computer or cell phone. This helps them remember by hearing that information again. Sometimes, just a quick reminder is all that the elderly need to boost their memories.

17. Stop Stress – Continuous stress can destroy brain cells. It is necessary to teach seniors how to reduce stress or place them in environments where there are fewer reasons to become stressful.

18. Sleep – A peaceful night's sleep is another way to help seniors stay productive through the day. How can the brain process more information if it is always tired? A rested brain is a more active one.

19. Prevent Distractions – If seniors can block outside distractions, then they have a better chance of retaining information.

20. Use It – If seniors do not use their memory every day, they are almost sure to begin to forget important tasks or information. Make sure that they engage in activities that give their minds a mental workout. Whether they like to read, teach others, work on crosswords, or play chess, it is important that they continue to do something they like that is a little challenging.

Ways to Boost Your Memory – Conclusion

There you have 20 different ways to boost your memory. These are simple tips that could have lasting effects on your loved one's memory and mental health.

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Histrionic Personality Disorder Symptoms – What This Condition Is and What Helps!

Today I'm going to be talking about about histrionic personality disorder symptoms or HPD for the lazy people out there. I'll share with you what this condition is and thoughts on dealing with it. To understand what this condition really is, let's focus on the word histrionic and break it down. This word means dramatic or theatrical.

Now that you know what that word means what do you think this personality disorder involves? Yea, someone is unusually dramatic and very emotional. They also will feel very uncomfortable if they are not the center of attention.

One of the best ways to tell if someone has this personality disorder would be to ask yourself the following questions. Does the person's self-esteem depend on the approval of others? Does the person regularly want to have the center of attention?

Another classic sign of this problem is when a person is unusually concerned with physical appearance. This includes possibly dressing inappropriately and very seductively to gain attention, such as wearing a mini skirt to church.

They are often easily bored with routine usually starting projects and moving on to something else before completing them. Also they could be frequent in making rash decisions and not thinking things through before acting.

An example of this would be trading in a dog van for a tiny scooter, which was in the movie “Dumb and Dumber.” I tried to think of something funny to insert in that last sentence, and that is the only thing I could think of it. Yes, they are making a remake of the movie and I'm looking forward to see how it's going to turn out.

Someone with this condition is usually self-centered and does not show concern for others. As you can imagine they have a difficult time keeping relationships with other people.

Now that you know a few of the major symptoms, can you guess which gender usually suffers from this personality disorder? According to Wikipedia women are four times as likely to suffer from HPD than guys.

When I look at America, which is a huge country the west coast culture is a very image driven culture, more so than the rest of the country. Just a guess, but I think that more people with HPD are located here.

You might be wondering how someone gets this condition. Like almost all things genetics could be a culprit, but a big cause might be how someone is raised and cultural conditioning.

In conclusion someone with HPD deep down is suffering from depression, they have a hard time excepting themselves. Psychotherapy or NLP can of course be a wonderful tool to help someone with this problem, and there are tons of supplements and herbal remedies that can also help.

One supplement I would recommend regardless if someone sucks from HPD or not would be omega 3 fish oil. The reason is because it does so many good things for the brain, and so many people are deficient in this stuff.

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