Hundreds of couples worldwide find themselves considering relationship therapy instead of divorce. This type of counseling is a change to repair a broken unity, hopefully resulting in a future together, rather than ripping the foundations of what they know and separating for good.
Many couples choose this to try and save a marriage for the sake of their children, but before you even consider relationship therapy; there are a few questions you need to ask yourself.
Firstly it's important to remember that this is not a quick fix solution, it takes time, dedication and it may not prove useful if the two of you can not come to a compromise. This is something you both want to do, an opportunity to mend, heal and work together to stay together for years to come.
One of the things you will have to take into consideration is whether you are ready to take responsibility for your side of the partnership. Are you ready to face what your partner has to say as to the partnership is breaking down? This can be hard to hear, especially if you have not heard it before and you need to be ready for just about anything when you walk through that door to relationship therapy.
Another consideration is whether you are both prepared to put in the commitment and time needed when it comes to this form of counseling. As mentioned before, it's not a quick fix and you will need to attend sessions on a regular basis over a period of time. Some couples can attend relationship therapy for weeks, others years. You need to decide if you are ready for this and it is something you can make time for.
Are you ready to compromise? Understanding and compromising are important elements to any relationship. Being able to compromise on certain elements may help your partnership move forward. You need to be ready for whatever comes at you in counseling, compromise may well be one of them.
If you are very set in your ways and find it difficult to try new things, then relationship therapy may not be for you. When it comes to this form of counseling, you have to be open and willing to try new things when it comes to openness and your partnership. Things have to change in order to evolve, this is essential to your partnership moving forward for years to come.
It's essential that you choose a therapist you are both comfortable with. These sessions rely on you being open and honest and if you're uncomfortable, you may find you are unable to open up and work on your problems.
Most counsels offer an assessment appointment. This is your opportunity to get a feel for them, how they work and the techniques that they use. Be sure to ask questions during this stage. Some councilors will challenge you as a couple, while others may be understanding and let you come to terms with what is happening in your partnership.
Before you go to relationship therapy, decide what you want out of the sessions. Are you looking for a change in the partnership to help you get to the next level and stay together, are you looking to fix broken wings which have built up over the years or are you looking for a way to communicate how you both feel so you can get on with your partnership in an open and committed way?
It's essential you both have some indication on what you want to achieve. Most couples want to know if there is anything left to fix or whether it's time to part ways. Remember a counselor will not tell you what to do, but they will help you come to your own decision.